Troops from various Federal investigative agencies were reportedly posturing and claiming control of the territory of Enron in the US last night. Informed sources report that there have so far been only minor skirmishes, but fear that hostilities may break out at any time and that the Coalition of Federal Agencies (CFA) could splinter at any time.These sources say that the feud has simmered beneath the surface almost from the start of the battle against the Enron Executive Army (the EEA) and has threatened to break into the open now that forces of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission (FERC) have joined the fray.
Many, who have been in from the start of the Enron seige, resent what they perceive as a late arrival to the fields of combat.
"Sure, now they come in and claim it's their territory," said Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) acting commander, Laura Unger.
The SEC has already been engaged in an uneasy alliance with forces of the Department of Labor (the DOL), headed by Commander Elaine Chou, and the Department of Justice (DOJ).whose commander, John Ashcroft, has absented himself from the field of battle over Enron. Ashcroft claims he has personal ties to the community while some from the other coalition members question his taste for the drudgery of such seige combat. ("Give 'im a terrorist to confront and he's right there before the cameras," said one disgruntled coalition member, "but this is grunt work. No flash. Just gotta dig in for the long haul.")
Meanwhile, FERC chieftan, Pat Wood, claims, "Enron has always been part of FERC territory. We are simply staking our tribal claim."
Wood: ready to stake claim
CFA forces are not the only ones engaged in the battles with and over EEA. A Confederation of Congressional Committees alliance (the CCC) also has the beleaguered community under seige. Among these are the Senate Finance Committee (SFC) and the Senate Commerce Committe (SCC). Indeed, with this array of forces against them and their former chieftan, Mullah Kenneth Lay deposed in a coup, the only questions remaining are how soon Enron will negotiate complete surrender and to whom.
In a related development in the War Over Enron (WOE), forces of the General Accounting Office (the GAO) continue their seige of White House, long a bastion of power. There has been little movement on this front thus far apart from White House sub-commander, Dick Cheney, ordering rounds of 'Constitutional privilege' to bombard GAO forces.
In response, the GAO has threatened to unleash its elite 'Attorney Battalion' in an apparent attempt to dislodge Cheney.